I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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