Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
