3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
