I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
