I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
