i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
