Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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