tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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