I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
...so i touched it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
