i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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