You smell like stripper and shame
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
