dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
