ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
