"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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