Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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