you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
