Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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