Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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