I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
