the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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