I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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