i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
