We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
