did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
