Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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