Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
