how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
