margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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