Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
