Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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