her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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