yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
