does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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