Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
