i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
smell my finger.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
