That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Please don't give away my fajitas
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
