How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
