Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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