Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
