Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize