that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
