After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Operation Purity has been aborted
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
