dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
