why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
