i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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