I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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