I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize