Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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