The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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