I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
