i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
