I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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