You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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