what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
