You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
