used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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