will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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