If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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