proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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