It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Sorry about my life...
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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