the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
