YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
