The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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